People often question the power of writers in film and life generally. However I think this is a mistake, after all, look at what the Writer’s Guild have secretly managed to achieve. For the past fifteen years it’s been a common assumption that the invention and popularisation of the mobile telephone has kicked a hole in many film staples. My mobile phone service provider even has a long running series of cinema adverts which often have fun with how this sparkly new technology would ruin some classic film stories.

Isolating your main character is one of the staple tools of both suspense and empathy, unable to call for help they now have to deal with this situation on their own. Consequently writers now have to tie themselves in knots to remove their character’s mobiles… they’ve lost them, they’ve broken them, they’ve been taken from them by bad guys. It’s a lot of work, something that used to be as simple as waking up alone has now become a whole plot point that needs to be squeezed into the story.

Which is why the Writer’s Guild have successfully campaigned for Orange phones to be utterly fucking useless. Last night my phone, the latest version of its kind, randomly lost its signal three times in five minutes whilst I stood completely still. Admittedly I was indoors but what really baffles me is how it can have a strong signal for a bit and then suddenly lose it completely, only to find it again, only to lose it again. Is that really really thick clouds? Especially fat birds?

No. It’s Orange proving once again how deeply they support cinema culture but giving back the gift of drama to telecommunications.

"Sorry, I couldn't hear you, I'm with Orange, where did you say he was?"