Eating chocolates has been slightly ruined for me by everyone who has ever quoted Forrest Gump’s mum at me. I’ve not seen the film because everything about it made me want to kick a window but there was a short time following its release when you couldn’t turn for people quoting Ma Gump’s sage wisdom that “life is like a box of chocolates – you never know what you’re gonna get next”.

This has stuck in to my brain like anti-climb paint and consequently every time I open a box of chocolates and am faced with the small guide which clearly tells you what each glossy brown surface conceals, I am struck with a twinge of needless rage. Life is not like a box of chocolates. Unlike life, with chocolates you do know what you are going to get next and you generally get to choose. Had she said “Life is like a box of chocolates because it’s generally over too quickly and contains too much marzipan” I’d probably have gone to see the film but as it is I’m just left bitter and angry.

Apart from that I had a lovely Valentine’s day.