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Seeking producer for hilarious comedy about censorship of the press in the catholic church?

Catalonia, Spain July 2020

Feminist demonstrators took to the streets in protest in a remote village in Northern Spain yesterday after a large trove of scrap books were found filled with erotic clippings of womens’ breasts. The culprits, it was discovered are a conclave of Servite monks residing at the local monastery of San Lorenzo, Vila-Rodona in Catalonia. According to local sources, the outrage towards the Monks bad habits has been brewing up over the past few months, The Abbot, Father Molestus Brestus, told a CNN correspondent that censorship of the tabloid press, has been a common practice for almost fifty years in his diocese and is aimed at protecting the parishioners from the un Godly. Apparently he knew nothing about the “hobby” his conclave has been practicing. A Vatican inquiry led by Cardinal Augustus Molina is underway and it remains to be seen whether or not The Abbot will face consequences. The censorship targets mostly pin ups found in several local and foreign publications. Regardless of what might be printed on the reverse side: “For those of us not particularly interested in female anatomy”, “Reading becomes very frustrating” said a local man who prefers to remain anonymous, “ You need a good imagination. It is somewhat of a guessing game.

The full length feature film, “Bosom Friends” has been written by Nik Steven, 65, an ex-pat who has been living in a 16th century monastery in Catalonia for the past six years. His comedy is based on true events which he experienced as a young man during his travels with his father back in the 70’s. “When we arrived in Malta, I developed a very bad nose bleed and ended up in a local hospital in Valletta” says Nik. “I was quite bored and asked the matron if there was anything to read. Seconds later, she returned with a pile of SUN newspapers. To my amazement, I discovered that every pin-up on page three had received surgery and her breasts removed, apparently cut out with a pair of nail scissors. A black rectangular hole stared back at me. A male nurse told me the censorship was conducted on a daily basis by monks from the local monastery. A mammoth task, considering the thousands of copies which entered the island on a daily basis. “The mind boggling question was, what on earth did the monks do with the cuttings?

50 years later. Nik Stevens’ colourful imagination has given the conclave of monks in his manuscript, an abundance of ideas on how to recycle the breast clippings. “The story is packed with fun and naughtiness and if all goes well, shooting will start later this year” says Nik. “Everything depends on the funding. “I am going to direct and play the rogue Abbot Molestus Brestus myself.” says Nik. I am perfect for the part. I always fancied myself as a priest”

further inquiries:

nsmadnik@gmail.com
Mobile/ 0034 688 30 13 28