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Short thriller film feedback

Hi all,
My short thriller Toll Booth is now publicly available after its festival run. It was fortunate to pick up some awards and was nominated at Leeds Int. Film Fest.
I would love to hear the community's thoughts on the film, as I'm currently developing this into a feature film. All feedback (positive and negative) very welcome.
vimeo.com/326145983

Many thanks,
Martin

  • Hi,

    On the positive side, I thought it was a pretty simple idea, generally well executed.

    But, I have to say it's a bit slow, and I drifted off a bit. The initial guy who works there is a bit too mysterious (felt a bit OTT), and the talk of 'what the young kids say' is a bit too expositional.

    Overall I think a bit less jokiness and more eerie spookiness would help.

    Anyway, my main question would be: Is there enough of an idea here for a full feature? And I think there could be, and a low budget one at that. So good luck with it.

    P.

    2 months ago
  • Hi Paul, thanks for taking the time to watch and for your feedback. Much appreciated.

    2 months ago
  • Hi Martin,

    Watched it a couple of times now but only just had chance to write.

    I think really great and there is a lot working for it as a short film, and any criticism is all subjective and just my own opinion.

    I don't think I found it as slow as Paul did, but it deffinetely couldn't be any slower. A couple of times when it was slowing down it snapped back. I was hoping it break and he would have some fun in the booth (was thinking of The Martian) and then it happens around the 6.50 mark but perhaps could have happened sooner.

    The end was a bit of a shock with no real closure and too much ambiguity, which for me was a dissapointment but not necessarily a bad thing.

    Probably what I found least effective was music however. It sounds mosltly synth made, which I feel always better accompanies more sci fi genres, or at least films in which technology is in an abundance and lacks a naturalistic setting, which Toll Booth has. I also found the audio cue before the bald chap pulls up far too much of a give away that the person is the car is going to be very strange.



    Good luck expanding and pitching it for a feature. It feels like it's going to be a bit of a horror film, and the simple but effective setup works but I think it will need a bit defining what 'the monster' is.

    It also reminded me of a few films I've seen set in lighthouses or similar remote locations. The most recent I watched was a film called Cold Skin on Netflix which seems to have a few similarities. Not the best film ever made but pretty entertaining, could be useful for some ideas,

    Hope this helps,

    Nathan

    2 months ago
  • Hi martin, I have two comments , and I don't think either are stabs to your heart (I know critism makes you feel like that). One is..think 'nightwatch', it has the feel of that. Where the guy works at a mortuary on nights, and he has to do his rounds. Your guy doesn't have to leave his box at all. he could just stay there and lock the window. SO, what makes him go outside? It would be good if he had to go outside, maybe as part of the job. Otherwise, he just wouldn't. Second...I watched it on a laptop, and found it to be so dark, that most of the time I was looking at my own reflection in the screen. I would say, put a bit of light on the background, any light, even a torch. Just to add depth. I used to be a DP, so those things stand out. dave

    2 months ago
  • But, the good thing was. It makes me want to write a horror film now

    2 months ago