ASK & DISCUSS
INDEXAnybody like to edit/improve this comedy script?
7 years, 10 months ago - Philip Carr
Dougie is originally from just outside Kingston, Jamaica and Eamon is very late of County Cork. They swig stuff sitting on boxes outside their shed and sound off about incomers from strange lands invading the allotment patch.
P.C? Forget it, just a bit of fun.
Writing credit offered for anyone who can sharpen this up and add more gentle humour. Shooting soon hopefully. Cast suggestions also welcomed.
Many thanks
Philip Carr
Bessborough Productions
Download link;
https://www.dropbox.com/s/exzcz0y0u0ixk9c/DOUGIE%20AND%20EAMON%20Shooters.doc?dl=0
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7 years, 10 months ago - Gerry Byron
That is a broader question to answer, IMHO. Your script is a very gently-paced, slice-of-life story. That mans not a lot happens, and when something does, it's not earth shattering. So the comedy is gentle and low-key too.
If you want a stronger comedy feel, you need more dramatic intent, so our two protagonists must WANT something (the same thing or different things). The dramatic tension will amplify the comedic tension - so stronger laughs.
But that would give the film a different tone - so maybe you can clarify which comedic tone you want - slice-of-life vs comedy drama.
Cheers!
Response from 7 years, 10 months ago - Gerry Byron SHOW