ASK & DISCUSS INDEX

5 years, 3 months ago - Dave Ainley

I really like this, more so than green street. It's very simple, simple but interestingly shot, building up an atmosphere

5 years, 3 months ago - Susi Arnott

Smashing - but.... is it a trailer to a longer film?
Love the performance and the mood, though the sound perspective is confusing (perhaps that's deliberate, to make us feel even more unsettled!)

5 years, 3 months ago - Paul W Franklin

For me it's not a complete short film; it's a teaser for something, perhaps.
It feels like it's heading for a gruesome/scary ending, but doesn't deliver.

5 years, 2 months ago - Mark Brome

Just my opinion, love the concept/story, but I would say it’s a short, more like a trailer for something more.

5 years, 2 months ago - Mark Brome

Sorry, I meant to say “it’s not a short”

5 years, 2 months ago - Jamie Kennerley

I'd agree with Mark here. It feels like you introduce some themes and then it ends rather abruptly. Doesn't feel like a 'bad' end, just that it has a feeling of a a trailer, for that reason.

Also, the second shot, on a gimbal, is lacking in confidence at the end. You get away with it being slightly wonky I think, but then it turns the corner and hangs around a little too long, kind-of comes to a stop and then wobbles back and forth for a second, before cutting when it's kind of in movement again. Always be wary of leaving 'bits' of shots in like that. Lets the side down a bit as it feels a bit amateur.

5 years, 2 months ago - Yen Rickeard

It isn't a short, it doesn't have enough story structure. It is rather long for an ad and doesn't have the punch. It raises the questions that are needed for a trailer.
The lighting and atmosphere are good. When folk are getting started their scripts are sometimes too wordy. Allow the pictures to speak for you, That's why it isn't a book. Pictures tell the story, Edit the words.

5 years, 2 months ago - SHINY .

I understand why it's short so ignore the 'teaser' remarks. I'm entering the same competition. :-)

What I would say is that the image and the dialogue don't complement each other. There is too much going on in the visual to follow what is being said in the dialogue. The visuals need to be a bit more vague/abstract to make it obvious that what's more important is the audio. With the rich visuals It feels like we should be seeing what we are hearing, but we're not and. It might help to establish that are hearing a passage being read from a book from the beginning.

Let me know if you want any further feedback. Hope this helps!

5 years, 2 months ago - Jamie Kennerley

Any response Alexandra?

5 years, 2 months ago - Alexandra Queen

Thank you very much to all of you who spend some time to watch and comment on my new short.

I have already respond to each one of you individually by sending you a personal message.

Many thanks,

Alexandra!!!

5 years, 2 months ago - Vasily-f .

I enjoyed your short and I found it very well filmed and acted. I liked the atmosphere and the cemetery surrounding. Well done!

5 years, 1 month ago - Alexandra Queen

Thank you very much Vasily-f.

5 years, 1 month ago - Alexandra Queen

!!!!!