ASK & DISCUSS
INDEXFor Screenwriters: Need New Wryly (Parenthetical)
10 years, 3 months ago - Lynwood Shiva Sawyer
Just received final coverage from L.A. for a contracted sci-fi film. The film is surveillance heavy, and there's quite a bit of watching characters on monitors/screens. The analysts themselves are conflicted as to whether to use V.O. or O.S.
The characters on the monitor are not Voiceover but neither are they Offscreen (although they might be Offscreen Onscreen or vice versa).
I would like to institute a new Wryly (Parenthetical) (O.M.) for "On Monitor."
If enough of us start using this convention, the Powers-That-Be would have to accept it.
What say ye?
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10 years, 3 months ago - Stuart Wright
I've used an acronym at the start of slug lines to describe the footage you're watching ... S.C. for Surveillance Cam etc ... It's then consistently done that way and when not included it's just your normal INT. / EXT. This should make breakdowns easy because the footage vs real action will be recognisable at a glance.
Response from 10 years, 3 months ago - Stuart Wright SHOW
10 years, 3 months ago - Paddy Robinson-Griffin
If it's on screen, it needs to be filmed, so needs to be included in the shot list and budgeted, so make that breakdown as easy as possible ;-)
Response from 10 years, 3 months ago - Paddy Robinson-Griffin SHOW
10 years, 3 months ago - Paddy Robinson-Griffin
Whichever way lets you communicate the clearest is the one to use. Another could be 2 columns which would also help preserve important sync points and page timings (it's effectively split screen).
So it's a pro, if you feel it is the best way in this case that you can communicate your vision :)
Response from 10 years, 3 months ago - Paddy Robinson-Griffin SHOW
10 years, 3 months ago - Lynwood Shiva Sawyer
Dear Paddy, is that Pro? Con? Abstain for a new Wryly? I suspected "Pro."
Response from 10 years, 3 months ago - Lynwood Shiva Sawyer SHOW
10 years, 3 months ago - Lynwood Shiva Sawyer
Excellent point!
It is indeed not only a new shot, but new location, etc. etc. etc.
And would make breakdown a hell of a lot easier.
Response from 10 years, 3 months ago - Lynwood Shiva Sawyer SHOW
10 years, 3 months ago - Lynwood Shiva Sawyer
In actual fact, you're right, it should be two oolumn as simultaneous action and to synchronize beats. From a formatting standpoint, side-by-side columns are such an incredible pain.
Response from 10 years, 3 months ago - Lynwood Shiva Sawyer SHOW
10 years, 3 months ago - Lauris Beinerts
What is important is that the screenplay fulfils its purpose, which is both to help the reader understand what is happening and help the production team understand what they need to do to shoot it. So you just need to decide what is the best way how to get it across - and I personally don't think parenthetical is the right method here (http://screenwriting.io/what-is-the-proper-way-to-use-parentheticals/).
Essentially, the indicator that the dialogue is done by a character that is on the surveillance footage should be the same place where you would put O.C. or V.O.. And it is neither O.C. (the people are not part of the scene), nor a V.O. (it is not recorded separately). So I'd just go with something else that is easy to understand (O.M. or S.C. both work for me).
The question is - do you format it differently when the surveillance footage is PART of the scene (we see someone looking at the monitor and here the character on the monitor talk) and when the surveillance footage is the WHOLE scene (when we see only the surveillance footage itself and the character talks there). I can see both ways argued here.
Finally, just to satisfy my curiosity - has it been considered that most of the actual surveillance footage is without any sound recording?
Response from 10 years, 3 months ago - Lauris Beinerts SHOW
10 years, 3 months ago - Andrew Morgan
I'd actually argue that if the characters are visible and speaking (even on a monitor) then technically they're 'on-screen' for screenwriting purposes. Using a parenthetical would certainly make the script breakdowns easier though since I assume the scene and the CCTV footage will be shot separately and composited in post.
Response from 10 years, 3 months ago - Andrew Morgan SHOW