ASK & DISCUSS INDEX

5 years, 3 months ago - Paddy Robinson-Griffin

The most important thing is clarity, and any structure that makes it clear is acceptable for such a specific requirement.

I would suggest thinking of the subtitles as effectively another "speaking" character, and splitting into two simultaneous columns, that way you have complete control over synchronisation, also, which sounds like it may be important to get very specific meaning.

5 years, 3 months ago - Tim Benjamin

Thanks Paddy! I was indeed thinking of going with a 2 column approach - that way, also, it won't break the "1 page per minute" approximation. Glad to have a second opinion on it.

5 years, 2 months ago - Paul W Franklin

Yes, Dual Dialogue is a nifty idea.

But if it's an English film, aimed mainly at an English-speaking (even as a second language) audience, then do you really need to put the exact Russian? Also, the director/producer/actor reading the script probably will want it in English... A dual dialogue might make them think there are two people speaking (maybe). So I'd just specify to start with that this person is speaking Russian, and write English.
If you still feel precise Russian is necessary then perhaps stick it at the end as an Addendum?

P.

5 years, 2 months ago - Tim Benjamin

Thanks Paul.
A few more details, I guess!
The character is a Russian talking to another Russian, in Russian. The way he talks to her has a certain tone to it, let's say informal / rude in a formal context. The other people in the room are not Russian. My English subtitles would use words that reflect the informal tone so that the viewer understands. However, as a Russian speaker myself (and indeed as the script writer!), I'd like the actual Russian words that are spoken to have the correct tone / inflection.
(I don't know if you know Russian, but perhaps you know French - imagine that he uses "tu" and "toi" instead of "vous" to address a professional colleague in a patronising way, for example).
The simplest thing would be to have the English (subtitle) words with "(in Russian)" declared at the top of the dialogue, but that leaves it to someone else to get the Russian right, and write the words for the actors to speak - which kinda feels like the writer's job after all.
An addendum feels like it would get out of the way better, and still deliver what I want. I've never seen an addendum in a script though but perhaps I haven't read the right scripts!

5 years, 2 months ago - Paul W Franklin

Spasibo :p
I know about 4 words, but yes I know exactly what you mean. And being a reasonable francophone myself, I've noticed far too much subtitling in which the English translation was noticeably different, i.e. gave it a whole new meaning.

Maybe if you don't have a lot of Russian then try the dual dialogue thing. If there's a lot though, it might be annoying to the reader? And your first goal is to get it liked and made, so...

5 years, 2 months ago - Glyn Carter

Hi Tim

No-one suggested writing the dialogue in Russian, and then having below
SUBTITLE: [whatever the english is, written across the whole page width]

I wouldn't worry about breaking the minute-per-page guide unless it's going to take the whole thing over 110 pages.

But I would take care not to overdo it: subtitles can't keep up with dialogue.

5 years, 2 months ago - Yen Rickeard

Glyn Carter has hit it right. Just have him speak in Russian, with the English subtitle across the page. If the English translation doesn't make it clear that one Russian is insulting the others, don't worry, the actors will make it clear (or subtle as needed). That is the actors job.
I find many scripts seem to forget that good actors will flesh everything out, finding new subtleties, bringing new complexity and richness, adding so much more to your, I'm sure, already great script.
Good luck with it.