ASK & DISCUSS INDEX

9 years, 8 months ago - Matt Jamie

Hey Rick. Here goes with some shredding for you...
There are some great locations here and some good use of light in places. Certain parts of the video there is some strong editing and the use of montage creates some interesting abstract imagery. The monochrome works with the locations and concept.

Story: So, nothing wrong with being abstract, but it feels like there is a narrative idea in here. I'm just not sure what it is. We have our guy filming a derelict wasteland - it seems he is waiting for something or someone. Then suddenly there are more people bowing down to this person... who are the other two people? Why are they there. Later we see the woman in the mask. She looks great. But we never really know why she's there, why the mask, or what her relationship with the man is. Maybe we don't need to, but it felt unexplained, rather than abstract. And we don't really know why he is filming - he doesn't seem to be filming when she is there - and it's not clear some of the shots look like they might be meant to be his POV, others not. I think that could do with tidying with some visual clarity (when are we "the viewer" when are we "his view"?)

Technical: Editing - There are a lot of edits which are on the beat, and others which aren't. Personally with music videos I prefer the cut to come on the beat (not necessarily every 2/4 beats or whatever, but at a relevant point in the music). That may be a taste thing. Some of the edits are dissolves which felt clunky to me - the straight cuts or montage moments worked much better. Also it felt like it needed a change in pace when the track lifts at the end. There a some brief moments of rapid cutting but we kind of ended up with more of the same despite the musical shift up a gear. The ending felt a bit muddled - I think decide either to end on him (the look out to the wasteland was nice, the look down the stairwell was a bit redundant since there's nothing to see there - showing nothing in the wide shot was neater) OR end on her. Coming back to her after a fade out seemed tacked on.

Cinematography - As I mentioned, some clarity here as to what we are seeing would be good: is it POV or is it just our viewpoint. There are a lot of really dark shots where we can't see anything at all. I'd use these sparingly if at all. Obscurity is fine, but invisibility not so great. I liked the moving spotlight shots. More of this playing with light would be good. And stabilise your camera. A few of the hand held shots have nasty shake on them - a cheap rig will sort this out for you. I don't know what camera you used but it all has a bit of a "video" feel to it. Maybe experiment with a few different lenses where you can explore depth of field a bit more?

Anyway, hope that's useful rather than destructive. Certainly it's subjective so feel free to ignore!

All the best

Matt Jamie
www.mattjamiefilms.co.uk

9 years, 8 months ago - Rick Antonsson

Hi Matt,

Thanks so much for taking the time for watching and giving me very thoughtful and helpful insights; I do really appreciate it.

I'd like to offer some defence to some things you pointed out, if nothing else than to understand some choices. In regards to the narrative, I suppose some context would help. The song is based on a remarkable power and feeling from a particular line in the novel High Rise by JG Ballard. Everything becomes hugely muddled and disorientating. The guy with the camera is representing Wilder, a documentary maker. The lady is a New Mother who Wilder is giving himself up to. The song is from an album coming out soon called Voyeurism. I like the idea of peeping and sinister observation, this is what the other guy is doing. It's supposed to be a struggle to distinguish what is actually going on - in the book, Wilder is giving himself to the New Mothers in an act that makes him an innocent, wanting somebody to take care of him. In reality, he's giving himself up to be tortured and eaten by the women. The 'feeling' of something is the most important and the visual aspect, the acts themselves and the disorientation have to be married together with the songs and the influence for the song. None of the shots are his POV.

Editing - I agree with you on the dissolves. The cutting on the beat is something I wanted to avoid, stubbornly maybe, because I don't like things to be so thoroughly spelled out. Regarding the pace in the second half, again I think it's a taste thing as I wanted the change in pace to be matched with a step up in the disorientation rather than quicker cuts. The song may get faster, but also it gets less and less clear. I think that's stronger. To be honest, I was a little unsure about the fading out and then going back to the New Mother. But, after several arguments and many re-watches, it grew on me. The last thought it gives me is that she's going to be there forever, even after everything else, after all the industrial decay, and I like that it gives that thought and feeling, which I suppose is the aim of any art. Maybe that sacrifices technical fluidity. Agreed about the stairwell, I didn't like the shot when it was done but the editors insisted. They're a lot more experienced than me, and they give in to most of my requests when they don't initially agree so on something like that I just let it be.

Cinematography - It's definitely not POV. There's a few shots taken from behind the Voyeur, like we're peeping on the peeper. There could be less of the dark-invisible shots. I do think they mostly work in the context of the video. Stabilization - can't argue there! I think I got away with it the majority of the time, with quite a high percentage shots working very well. Have got something to sort this for the film though. And glad you like the lights! There will be a lot of playing around with this sort of thing in the film. As much as I don't like to give away secrets, I've already given away a lot here, but you might be surprised to hear that the spotlight was just 2 torches - one of them pretty much dead. I like the look of it, with or without the film grain effects it reminds me of Italian Neo-realist movies. But I will be experimenting like you said for the movie.

Again, thanks so much for taking the time. It's a big help. I may have argued some of your points but I'll be taking everything you've said on board.

Rick.