ASK & DISCUSS INDEX

6 years, 5 months ago - Adam Woodhams

Hi,

Really enjoyable I thought that the acting was really great although could be either exaggerated a tiny bit more, or more close-ups could be added to enhance the scene.

I was a bit bothered by the image looking too clean, even with the dirty frames popping up, maybe some more post work to dirty up the image would be good

Music is great although felt a little repetitive and generic, would be nice to see it follow the action more.

Also if you do decide to dirty up the image some more, it might nice to degrade the music also

Thanks for sharing,

Adam

6 years, 5 months ago - Rishi Vaja

Hi Alexandra,

I really enjoyed it. I'm not a big fan of silent movies so take my next comment with a grain of salt, I found the music slightly distracting and would have found it better if the music changed during the scenes to show the emotion? Maybe sad music when the maid is crying and romantic music when they are dancing? I've just noticed that the person above as commented on something similar with regards to the music so maybe that's something to thing about. Well done on getting a short film made! :))

Regards,
Rish

6 years, 5 months ago - David Roberts

Hi Alexandra,

Very nice homage. Very good location choices and costume. The casting was also very good.

Agree with the above, especially with the image being to crisp. Would suggest soften the focus. It also lacks the flicker of old films. You could certainly even be more over-the-top in the performances.

The main thing for me is the set-pieces are a little lacking. Wasn't clear what was happening in the first scene. An attempted pick pocketing? Would like to see more done with that. When the copper realises he is not holding the the tramps arm it would be nice to see a bigger reaction. Feel there could be a lot more slapstick.

The biggest missed opportunity I think though is when the copper is waking up. If you'd had him come to, while the maid doesn't notice because she is trying to grab the sack, had him grab her and just as all seems lost the bag comes over and knocks him out. that would have really heightened the tension before the gag for a bigger payoff.

I watched a little bit of Chaplain after yours and it actually made me laugh where as I enjoyed yours but it didn't (in all fairness though I was probably being too anylitical). I think if you are homaging something as classic as that you really have to be as clever as it, which is no mean feat. Don't get me wrong, what you've done is very good. But really, you need to be great.

Is it worth considering a reshoot? I mean, it's got to be pretty fun to do, right?

Anyway good luck with it. I'll look forward to your next piece.

Best

David

6 years, 5 months ago - Richard Callaghan

Thanks for the link, I enjoyed the short.

As others have said, the "print" could be "dirtier", but I liked it regardless. The only real missed opportunity for me was no pick up on the kitten in the window watching.

Maybe you could drop in some badly-cut close ups for authenticity? But I liked it.

6 years, 5 months ago - Alexandra Queen

Adam, Rishi, David & Richard thank you very much guys for spending some of your spare time to watch my film and comment on it.

I would also appreciate if any you shooters could recommend or advice me as to which could be the right festival to submit that particular genre?

Many thanks in advance,

Alexandra!!!

6 years, 5 months ago - Mari

Hi Alexandra, I thought it was very in keeping with the Charlie Chaplin theme. Very touchingly made. Maybe too much, and it would benefit from you putting your own personal stamp on it.
Tonally it was all very similar and ditto the music. Maybe consider A musical change of pace for the “dramatic action parts” So the drama is conveyed more.
The acting was fine although the scenes were rather long. I think you could cut the film time down much more. Mari

6 years, 5 months ago - Hedley England

If you want some comments, here they are. It’s very brave of you to ask for this public feedback, and I’m just commenting on the film as I see it.

First of all, well done for trying a ‘silent movie’ approach. It is quite challenging to create a narrative with picture only. I didn’t know from the title that you were doing a Chaplin story with his Tramp character. For me, this raises several issues, and I think creates further concerns for you to make a really successful film. But as it stands, it’s a good film, and deserves some awards. My comments are only my comments, for what they are worth.

I assume you’ve seen his silent films. We all know the storylines, the gags, his moves, the expressions. There is, alas, nothing really new to add, only in a modern version. You’ve found someone to play The Tramp very well, and I’ve no issue with that, but I think you needed to develop the storyline with more cheeky gags, and get more dynamic into the characters between ‘good’ and ‘evil’. As it stands, it’s a boy meets girl story, and I don’t have a problem with that, but you didn’t create audience sympathy with The Tramp, you have presented a string of clichéd gags and scenes to show that you can do it as well as he did. I would have dropped the opening sequence with the policeman – you don’t need it because it has nothing to do with ‘boy meets girl’. And we know The Tramp as soon as we see him. Why not set up the lonely Tramp longing to find ‘a sweetheart’ after watching other couples, or even just one. (And yes, he’s done that before I’m sure, but you’re doing your version) He can dream of his own romance. Bring in a new character, an evil looking lecherous man who has eyes for his char-girl. Because she refuses his advances, he throws her onto the street, or she tries to escape. The Tramp sees this, and ‘rescues’ her from his advances, and they fall in love. You can bring in the policemen at this point if you want, to break up the street disturbance.

You had a great opportunity to try some visual gags with the sequence at the fence, but it would have meant making a ‘prop’ fence. Yes, the heavy sack gag works to some extent, but it could have been better. If you could have made The Tramp move fencing pieces flip up, so it whacks the policeman on the other side up the bum as he ties his shoelace or something, and create some more slapstick to keep the gag going, it would have got some laughs because it would have been cheeky, and The Tramp didn’t know he was hitting the policeman. It could even have been a film in itself if you worked out the visual gags.

I know it’s all a bit late, but it’s my comments. Some of the best films are only made on paper. Such is the circus of actually making one. I’m sure you had financial and time constraints, and just to create a film like this is a massive effort, so well done. Good luck with your next project!

6 years, 5 months ago - Hedley England

Me again, I uploaded an early draft, and just to say I know you played The Tramp, and did it very well.

6 years, 5 months ago - Alexandra Queen

Mari and Hedley, thank you very much guys for watching my short and commenting on it :)

As I'm a bit concerned in whether to submit it to festivals or not, could you please also advice me which festivals you think my short could have some possibilities?

Alexandra!!!

6 years, 5 months ago - Nathan Hannawin

Hi Alexandra,

Overall I thought it was very nice however as others have mentioned the music is at a relentless pace throughout which does become distracting. Do you have the opportunity to go over the music again? I think this could really help the film. Again maybe a downgrading of the picture quality - could - help, as well as changing the aspect ratio. It's a bit of a difficult one, perhaps you need to make a hard decision to mimic an old fashioned, Chaplin style, knowing it will not quite get it, or embrace using modern equipment and making a revitalized version of something old, so to speak.


Festival-wise, I can't name anything specific, but FilmFreeway is a great place to start as you can browse festivals by category

Hope that helps!

Nathan

6 years, 5 months ago - Alexandra Queen

Thank you Nathan!! :)

I wonder if there is someone who could write a piano music score exclusively for the film and follow the actions and emotions of the characters?

Alexandra!!!

6 years, 5 months ago - Tom Jolliffe

Hi Alexandra,
I've sent you a message. Hopefully will help.

6 years, 4 months ago - Sergio Falchi

Hi Alexandra, sending you a message :)

6 years, 4 months ago - Ivo Alexander

Hi Alexandra,

You really don't need any advice, you know exactly what you're doing. Forget the nitpicking. Go to Filmfreeway and set yourself a festival budget (otherwise it can quickly become an escalating investment). Look for fests with good feedback that are well run, and do your research. Good hunting.

6 years, 3 months ago - Alexandra Queen

Tom, Sergio and Ivo, thank you very much for your comments!! :)