ASK & DISCUSS INDEX

9 years, 1 month ago - Paddy Robinson-Griffin

I don't often watch shorts, but this morning I had a couple of minutes. The technical elements were all great, well enough lit, sound generally ok, compositing was smooth, performances fine.

Where I couldn't finish the film though was length. The first gag, the tinder one, could have been 30 seconds in and out, but we join the scene early, and go through the gag too many times. By the group chat I was already leaning the room. Never saw how it ended. That's the thing with short films, they need to be short! Look how much stuff TV crams into 8 minutes, that's the pace people expect unless there's a deliberate reason to set a different tempo (and lose audience). I'd consider a re-cut and get the whole thing under 2 minutes. Audiences will thank you, the pace will lift, you keep the best bits and dump the rest, and make a tighter calling card for it.

Sorry to call it, but you did ask for all feedback and as it's got a lot going right, why not show it off at its best?

9 years, 1 month ago - Dej FM

Thank you for your answer Paddy appreciate it. The thing is I did want to cut it down myself then all hell broke loose when my hard drive corrupted on me and I hadn't backed the film up. So I had a draft on vimeo already but had no access to the files to actually edit it the way I wanted to as the music overlapped the dialogue at times. I just felt like that was all I could do in the situation.

Again appreciate your comments and will keep that in mind I'd be happy to send you another short film I recently shot which I truly believe is short and sweet, would you like to see it?

9 years, 1 month ago - Marlom Tander

You're being defensive. You're making excuses. Not professional.

What's more, to ask people to view a short that you yourself do not think is finished is disrespectful of their time. IMO you should have at least flagged that "due to disk corruption forcing me to stop at this draft, it's not the edit that I wanted, but any feedback would be good - if only to convince me I was on the right track".

FWIW I watched as far as group chat but life is short. Pacing was SLOWWWWW. The lead guy was overacting if he wanted to be natural, and underacting if he wanted to ham it up for laughs. Might be his fault, might be the directors. I also had a problem with the rejected girls. I didn't really see why he was rejecting them, which meant I wasn't thinking about what i should have been thinking about. The rejection girls should have been much more clearly ugly or crazy flakes.

Good luck for the next one.

9 years, 1 month ago - Dej FM

Thank you Marlom for your comments. I'm definitely not being defensive I took Paddys comments with an open mind and admitted that they made sense. The only thing I did was let him know my situation, that is not unprofessional. Also I didn't state it wasn't finished I stated I had a draft version which I edited from off Vimeo.

I have also taken your comments on board about pacing and will try and improve on that. But the comment about the girls I understand you would have liked to see uglier girls being rejected but thats not the point, it's as simple as they might not have been his type.

Really do appreciate your comments I'd like to know what you think of another short I shot recently that I want to enter in film festivals. I'll let you know that was also lost due to the corruption of my hard drive but is definitely better. Would you like to see it?

9 years, 1 month ago - R P

A nice idea and well shot but I agree - much too long. We don't need to see him taking a taxi ride or walking down the road for ages - what does that add to the story? Just cut those bits entirely I reckon. Maybe 3 seconds of him doing his silly walk so you see why he's late. There is no dialogue in the Tinder scene so no reason why you can't re-cut with some new music / sound effects - make that bit much shorter; we don't need to see him sitting down, looking bored or deciding to take out his phone. Keep the group chat scene the same. This film should be no more than 3-4 mins. Also in the credits mention the poor actors' surnames! You could cut it down from a Vimeo download - if you're intending it for online the quality will be fine.

9 years, 1 month ago - Matt Turner

Hi,

Have you considered submitting this to Film of the Month? It runs every month, with different filmmakers attached to judge. Next one will open July 1st. You can submit there https://shootingpeople.org/filmofthemonth/

Thanks
Matt
SP