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Producing

I've started an animated webseries. Feedback would be appreciated.

Vasco de Sousa

7 years ago - Vasco de Sousa

Here's a trailer for the web series:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=psbVJlF6fIE

I'm not looking at winning festivals with this one, it's not really aimed at the festival crowd.

Any feedback from filmmakers, parents of children who might see it, potential backers, webseries fans or others who might have something to say would be appreciated.

Thanks,
Vasco

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John Lubran

7 years ago - John Lubran

Slightly surreal and quirkily amusing. Perhaps a little more so than would be suitable for young children though.

Response from 7 years ago - John Lubran SHOW

Glyn Carter

6 years, 12 months ago - Glyn Carter

I liked the heart monitor going in time to the music... but the flatlining is a bit of a downer here, setting the wrong tone for the opening. And it means you have a 20sec intro/title for a 40-second joke. Maybe just have that flatline (and the web address) at the end?

Biggest problem for me was that it sounds like the guy is saying "my phone is itching". Now that's an intriguing set-up! Am I alone in mis-hearing? The true joke works well enough on its own terms, but it turned out to be a different joke to the one I hoped for.

Also, the phone rings four times. There's a reason for the "rule of three" in comedy and elsewhere. If you're going to have three set-ups before the pay-off, the third beat needs to escalate somehow.

Nice quirkily stylised animation work. Do you plan more?

Response from 6 years, 12 months ago - Glyn Carter SHOW

val Nonyela

6 years, 12 months ago - val Nonyela

A strong stylish piece. I really liked it. How long did it take you?

Response from 6 years, 12 months ago - val Nonyela SHOW

Vasco de Sousa

6 years, 11 months ago - Vasco de Sousa

Thank you. It was fun to create. The dialogue was relatively quick, but I lost track of how long I spent toying with the phone. (I abandoned the first model because it was too complex.) The character design also took a little longer than expected. I think it took well over a week, Probably a couple of days to do it again.

I'll see if I can find more exact lengths in my old records.

Response from 6 years, 11 months ago - Vasco de Sousa SHOW

Mark Jepson

6 years, 11 months ago - Mark Jepson

I like the quirky, surreal style - the animation looks good. Nice reveal at the end!

For me, the intro felt a little too long for such a short piece and the music didn't set the right tone for being aimed at kids. Maybe something more lighthearted?

More work needed on the sound quality of dialogue - I just heard 'my phone is itching' so didn't fully appreciate the punchline!

Response from 6 years, 11 months ago - Mark Jepson SHOW